Dark Duck's World

Life's A Struggle

2005-07-18T00:29:00.000+08:00

正当我睁开双眼
踏入这个世界
妈妈给我生命
现在让我自生自灭
这让我恐惧
在我的眼里每个人都戴着面具
回想过去
难道生命就是这样延续？
我抽烟抽得我的肺都黑了
就像整个社会被人心笼罩着它也是黑的
我背着宿命的十字架也渴望Power, paper and respect
我想这大概就是human nature
佛家说烦恼即是菩提我暂且不提我倒是希望能够回到母体
老妈对不起我时常把你气得跺脚
你说你后悔当初没有把我堕掉
每当我放学回家放下那沉重的背包家里空无一人
只残留着你香水的味道那时我知道
你那天晚上又要加班
我打开冰箱拿出微波炉吃冰的晚餐
老爸在凌晨两点钟醉醺醺地回家
我从睡梦中醒来只听到你们在吵架
我没有办法专心面对第二天的考试
老师他不喜欢我我也不喜欢老师
我讨厌穿制服我讨厌学校的制度
我讨厌训导主任的嘴脸讨厌被束缚
That's true很多人不屑我的态度
他们说我太cool
警察不爽我都曾将我逮捕
I don't give a fuck about 人家说什么
他们想说什么就说什么
但是他们算什么没有谁有权利拿他的标准衡量我主宰是我自己
随便人家如何想
我还是我
爱钱的女人只给凯子摸不懂得用保险套的人别嫌孩子多金钱力量虽大
却生不带来死不带走紧握着双拳的人们何时能松开手？

**Life's a struggle 日子还要过品尝喜怒哀乐之后又是数不尽的troublesEveryday
有多少问题要去面对有多少夜痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡…
**Life's a struggle 日子还要过品尝喜怒哀乐之后又是数不尽的troublesEveryday
有多少问题要去面对有多少夜痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡…

法庭严肃的空气逼得我快不能呼吸
当时面临着终生监禁的我开始反省
铁栏杆之后又是个截然不同的景象刑犯们眼神中看不到一点和平的气象
仅有一寸短的铅笔写的是监狱风云日记上描绘的不是美好的户外风景
自由在他们眼里才是憧憬放一把自制武器在枕头旁
以防随时有人偷袭有些人怀疑老婆在外偷情
有些人把家人寄来的信件一张一张好好收集
有些人二十四小时几乎在床上休息
有些人精神失常因为受不了打击
三个月如火如荼的漫长等待已过去
出狱后的我得面对三年的缓刑期
这也好一生中第一次感觉到幸福
但生命中的考验何止如此我不清楚
我不知道接下来还有什么会发生
翻开报纸的新闻又是看到放火杀人
还记得某年无意间发现的照片上面有阿姨对男人施行口交的恶心画面
这简直摧毁了她在我心目中的形象
我无法忘怀照片中那笑容多么淫荡
我抵抗胸口存在着不安及惶恐
我不断听到痛苦的声音在内心怒吼

**Life's a struggle 日子还要过品尝喜怒哀乐之后又是数不尽的troublesEveryday
有多少问题要去面对有多少夜痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡…
**Life's a struggle 日子还要过品尝喜怒哀乐之后又是数不尽的troublesEveryday
有多少问题要去面对有多少夜痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡…

不论我走到天南不论我走到地北
不论我走到哪都见识到人心的虚伪
It's kinda funny
在人的眼里只有money
外表好像要帮你却只是想帮他自己
笑容可掬的脸后面
谁知道是个狼心狗肺连朋友都能背叛
因为只有名利合他口味
她说她爱你的时候讲的是问心无愧
搞不好她爱的是你身后的荣华富贵
你可曾困惑在你身旁谁是敌是友
对你落井下石的可能就是你的挚友
你可曾经历当你最需要帮助的时候
平常跟你称兄道弟的人都突然失踪
亲爱的神伟大的神你
可以怪我想法太过无知但我只是人
我不信人因为人也不信我
不要问我为什么我最多只能告诉你这就是我生命像海浪一样有时高有时
你是否告诉自己坚强渡过各种时期
我从命运的天台放眼却看不到星空漆黑的天空压在头顶使我不得轻松在我心中
找不到一个安静的角落我不能再沈睡下去
良心彷佛在笑我它在说：
有几天几夜老妈曾经为你以泪洗面
老爸他只顾己见希望之火只见熄灭
我接起电话是老爸憔悴的声音
虽没见面却不难想像他当时的神情
刚听完他最近失业的消息脑海里马上浮现祖母的话
警告我一定要争气
我已经放弃所有哭的理由
因为我早就习惯冷漠活在无情的现实里头
人生要如何起头？改变要如何起手？
当活在泥沼中要如何才能金盆洗手？

**Life's a struggle 日子还要过品尝喜怒哀乐之后又是数不尽的troublesEveryday
有多少问题要去面对有多少夜痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡…
**Life's a struggle 日子还要过品尝喜怒哀乐之后又是数不尽的troublesEveryday
有多少问题要去面对有多少夜痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡…
**Life's a struggle 日子还要过品尝喜怒哀乐之后又是数不尽的troublesEveryday
有多少问题要去面对有多少夜痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡…*
*Life's a struggle 日子还要过品尝喜怒哀乐之后又是数不尽的troublesEveryday
有多少问题要去面对有多少夜痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡…
Uh...Life's a struggle
yeah...Life's a struggle
did u feel,man?...

Finally

2005-07-09T23:42:00.000+08:00

The Wings Had FLAPPED...
had not blogged for a very long time...
anyway, there's been lots of things happening around me recently that made me so busy and did not really have the time to sit down and blog about it... well i had been quite moody the last few weekends because of the YCF... it's because i was unable to perform due to my commitment in the NDP parade. i had no choice but whenever i see the guys happily training for the YCF, i alwasy feel very down and dissapointed with myself. i was only able to join up with them on the actual day's grand finale itself and i felt quite happy that i at least got myself involved somehow...
the feeling of missing the YCF is like when your soccer team reaches the grand final and you are being suspended, maybe anguish can be used to describe the feeling... but i realised that missing the YCF, which takes place once every 5 years, does not really mean the end of the world, at least i'm participating in the NDP and i can always look forward to the next YCF. during the mean time i can still work towards my goals and achieve what i want to achieve and during the next YCF, i can truly enjoy and feel victorious. i of my friends also faced the same problem in the other angle... she needed to fill up certain quota of purchases in order to enjoy certain benefits from her company. since this is a once a year benefit, she was still short of 1 when she approached me. i tried to explain to dissapointment to her but i think she wasn't in the right frame of mind to listen to, who would anyway??? in the end i still decided to make a small purchase from her and i hope that could really help her out...
finally, just wanna share some words of wisdom.... to a particular friend....
Anger is just like a gust of wind,
it will always blow away your senses but,
you must rememeber to get your senses back when everything is calm....

if anyone would be reading this..............................

Finally

2005-05-28T10:42:00.000+08:00

The Wings Had FLAPPED...
it is getting more n more tiring in the camp... almost everyday in the camp was spent doing parade... however finally the internet connections in the camp is finally up n that means that i can blog more consistently now...

past few weeks without internet, life was miserable... but still managed to almost finish watching my date with vampire 3 n 1 biography... at least time is not wasted.

suddenly there r so many ppl passing away this year, former president, pope, my grandma, more recently, justin's dad a few days ago n BK's brother just this morning... just want to convey my most heartfelt condolences to the deceased....

if there is anyone who is reading this....................................

Sick Duck

2005-05-11T20:55:00.000+08:00

The Wings Had FLAPPED...
Haiz.... sick again but still not too sick to go see the doctor, because the process of seeing the doc in the camp is very troublesome... anyway today was 1 of my most tiring day in my life... had done duty with my juniors just the previous night and had only very little rest, as a result, i just slept thru the whole day... luckily there was'nt much lessons going on...

late evening was the much dreaded life run which my batch boy dubbed it as "want your life run". it was not very tedious as the pace was very slow and we were not allowed to overtake until the very end... after the run, i think i'm still a healthy guy...

Everton, pride of Merseyside

2005-05-09T02:24:00.000+08:00

The Wings Had FLAPPED...

having been blogging for a while... was feeling tired n lethargic the whole week but still managed a post.... anyway was glad that the RSN day was finally over and it is 1 parade down n 2 more to go... also took quite a number of pics during the RSN day with me clowning around, will be posting the pics soon...

Saturday was kind of tiring cos in the morning, have to book in and afternoon went for parade rehearsals at nee soon camp... by the time book out already 6+... went for dinner and Maggie called up whether wanna go sentosa or ktv... in the end i stayed at home at was knocked out before 1am... sunday was even worse cos in the morning have to go tampines to set up my stall for some event and i managed to sell a grand total of 7 watches... after that was my gajokai duty which was an unusually busy day... but at least i dun feel tired cos tomolo is my off day...

so theorectically, sunday has now become my saturday and my monday has become my sunday... seems good cos there's less crowd, however the sad thing is most of the entertainment centers close very early....

lastly, congrats Everton... well done for a very good season of football... Liverpool, just hope that u can win the champions league and have the chance to defend it next season, and win it back to back and get relegated to division 1....

btw, i'm a big but dissapointed Liverpool fan........................

Time not enough

2005-05-04T20:47:00.000+08:00

The Wings Had FLAPPED...
A day has passed without much happenings... tomlo will be the RSN day and will be booking out out after the parade is over... initially thought that it will be a good deal, but just realised that the junior classes that r totally not involved in the parade r able to book out tonite n off day tomolo... what injustice!!!

but anyway, saturday still have NPD practise n sunday morning will be selling watches at a charity bazaar at Tampines... luckily Monday is offday or else i'll be dying of exhaustion soon... just can't wait for sunday to arrive coz it will be my 1st time manning a stall n at the same time gain valuable experiences in business... however i haven had the time to go get the watches from vincent yet. will be trying to get it tomolo after book out... evening still have to go to east coast for blade practise... TIME seem to be not enuf 4 me!!! nonetheless, at least at east coast there r still babes around to be seen...

lastly, if there r anyone who is reading this, pls help to support the bazaar on sunday as most proceeds goes to charity....

2005-05-03T22:14:00.000+08:00

all my batch boys...

2005-05-03T22:13:00.000+08:00

few good men

2005-05-03T22:12:00.000+08:00

my batch boys....

2005-05-02T16:19:00.000+08:00

The Wings Had FLAPPED...
last nite went to Paulaner with my batch boys... the beer was good and might go back there in the near future... as a result of last nite's drinking, today was too tired to go anyway including downstairs for a smoke... will be booking in again tonite after the long weekend, so boring...

suddenly had a penchant of listening to hokkien songs lately... just dunno why, maybe its the melody that caught my attention...

will be finding ways to post the songs here.....

just wondering if anyone would be reading this........................

camera

2005-04-26T23:27:00.000+08:00

The Wings Had FLAPPED...
went past a red light camera just now... got 2 flashes, wondering when will the letter come to me... just hope that the film in the camera had run out so i aun be subjected any summons n fines... but anyway i still haf enough demerit points to give, so not much worries....

my bro just got his keys to his new flat, wondering when will be my turn... haiz... dun even haf a partner how to but flat... just looking for to thursday coz its an off day so that can have some serious RnR...

just wondering anybody will be reading this..........

2005-04-25T21:31:00.000+08:00

The Wings Had FLAPPED...
think i'm getting sick... ever since i've started my course here, i haven been in the best of health since... issit the routines or issit that my health is just poor???

anyway, the cartoon posted is the south park version of Jeff Hardy, a former WWE wrestler... finally noe how to put these pics in my blog, took me so long to figure out...

?tired+frustration?=???

2005-04-20T23:02:00.000+08:00

The Wings Had FLAPPED...
just figured out how to post pictures on this blog... so difficult to comprehend... thinking of seeking professional help soon... any had post a picture that was taken long ago together with my classmates years ago during sch time... how i miss the sch time....

anyway just had the National Day Parade internal rehearsal for the Navy supporting contigent... it was so tiring n hot but think most of the objectives were met so i guess we will be ready for the combined rehearsal on Saturday... tomolo will be another day of rehearsal for the RSN day Guard of Honour... seems like i'm starting to like parades... actually i've got no other choices, it is either parade or covering the duties for those involved...i've got no other choices... HELP!!!

after August the 9th, the duck might just become the roasted dish on your dining table... if anybody is reading this blog............

dark duck perception

2005-04-18T22:08:00.000+08:00

finally decided to post my blog down here... was forced to blog here coz the internet connection at my camp blocked off the friendster website, as a result i'm unable to blog constantly...
to continue from where i let off from friendster, the camp life is indeed very boring, finally able to bring in laptop to hook up to the net, which is some sort of improvement. lots of things also happened last week... first of all, my batch were taken off the NDP guard of honour and becoming the supporting contigent. this caused many of us to be SIANZ coz it seem to be no pride coz the NAVY GOH will be represented by the NAVAL DIVING UNIT RESERVISTS... guess wat, nowadays in camp also have to write journal, and have to submit to our supervisor oso... where's the logic of writing journal...
can anyone imagine that i actually bought a mini fan to be installed beside my bed in my bunk?? well, that's the fact coz suprise suprise, down at the most eastern part of singapore and facing the sea with a great sea view, there is definitely no wind blowing and it is very very hot... just wandering where have all the sea breezes gone...
had been venting quite a lot of fustrations now.. to share some lively moments, had been learning roller blading past few weeks and had been to East Coast last week end and had lots of fun, eyes were also very tired, training my eyes on so many sexy ladies there can be very tiring though... have to muster the roller blades just for the upcoming Youth Culture Festival, it's my 4 participation already...
lastly, i'll also be involved in a charity bazaar next mth, just hope ppl who r reading this can give me the support...
just hope anyone is reading this blog.

Ducks

2004-12-15T00:54:00.000+08:00

finally get to express my personal thoughts through a medium. its a funny thing by posting in the net coz people might never get to read but i still get the chance to let out whatever thoughts that have been keeping inside me... still very new to all these blogging i will definetely write on everything that will happen to me in the future....